Important existential questions:

If I live for my dreams, will I be a martyr when I die of old age?

Is there any other option?

If the National Post arrives before midnight, is it Monday's paper?

If CanWest style doesn't cite scoops, but CP style does, is it inevitable that CanWest's martyrdom will succeed all ethical martyrdoms? (And by extension, that selfishness, at the bottom of it all, has already won?)

How much can you help before you hinder?

If I pluck my first grey hair, does that mean I'm finally mature?

Is "quasi-existential" really an oxymoron? If so, aren't the terms individually philosophically meaningless? (Can two individually semantically meaningless terms be more or less meaningful when combined?)

If I find any more spelling mistakes in this blog post, will my head explode?

If so many things make my legs shake, and so many things drive me to abstraction, am I just an emotionless moron? Or are the things all one and the same?

I ______ Mondays.