Rock on with your socks on.

I even posted a listing on craigslist, and am getting responses!
Problem: I don't know what makes for a good bass. I have a cheap electric guitar, as well as a cheap acoustic, and both are horribly, horribly crappy but serviceable. I think I lucked out. I must seek advice on purchasing a quality instrument, or give up this foolish dream of oh, four hours.
Also: I hate socks. Birkenstocks = back in action, and I couldn't be happier. Freedom not footwear!
CUP Liam here (linked to here through W3's blog).
Buying stuff on the internet won't help you do this, but you really have to know how a bass feels to play in order to know if you'll like it. There's no "good" or "bad" about it.
You may want to go to a music store and try playing whatever brand it is you're chasing out in cyberspace.
Hope things are well on your end!