Self-interested much?

So I finally decided what to do next year, and then got distracted by a website called "Elena's Models"

... a mail-order bride service from the Ukraine.

I realized how immensely petty I've been all day, and in fact, most days. It was extremely disconcerting.

To think, I spent my entire evening trying to decide on my future, when there are women who are on the verge of prostituting themselves out to creepy old Canadian men.

If this sounds a little too fuzzy for your dear Tessa, don't worry, there's an angle here: I've evinced a desire to speak with these women and find out what the waiting is like. I think it would make an interesting culture piece.

As someone fundamentally obsessed with Hegel's decision-making process (once you make a decision, the "good," the mental tension brought on by the process ends, and instead of limbo you get ... the dull thud that will constitute the rest of your life) the utter pain of having made a decision and then remaining in limbo for years, years! is so foreign to me I must investigate.

I'd make an excellent mail-order bride, I think. I'm "good on paper," not in practice. I wonder if they go the other way .... I could be a Russian tsarina!